An Online Al-Anon Family Group
Mind Your Own Business
I used to think that everybody else's business was my business.
I can remember when I heard in Al-Anon meetings, that somebody else's drinking was none of my business I said, "What? What do you mean? Of course it's my business! This is my family we are talking about here! I am responsible!"
Well, it turns out that no, I am not responsible for someone else's choices. And the shame and the embarrassment caused by their behavior doesn't belong to me either, it belongs to them!
If they decide to make choices that are "bad" for them It is not a reflection on how good a parent, or friend, or spouse, or sponsor that I am. They have the right to make their own mistakes and hopefully learn from them. I can only do my part right, share my experience, strength, and hope when it's appropriate.
Freedom and Responsibility
I am not responsible for what they do with the information nor am I responsible for the outcome. As somebody told me once, I am simply not that powerful to cause somebody else to either quit or start recovering.
But the part that is my business, is how I respond or react. I can let the choices of others drive me crazy or I can work my program and keep the focus on myself.
Today, I not only have the freedom to mind my own business I have the freedom to choose not to participate in someone else's insanity.
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