An Online Al-Anon Family Group

Key to

Key Home Page
How to Join
Members Info
New to Al-Anon?
Contact Us

Is the Key To

      -- Concept Four

Feeling of Belonging

I always had self esteem confused with self-confidence. I had plenty of self confidence, in my skills, abilities, etc. But that has nothing to do with self esteem or self worth.

Before Al-Anon, my thinking was like this: Everybody else belonged to the group, but I was just visiting -- maybe even intruding!

So, to be really part of the group, committee, association, etc. I had to over-achieve by selling the most tickets, raising the most money, volunteering the most hours, signing up the most new members, or whatever it took to gain their approval.

Feeling at Home

Even that never really worked. I never felt like I was one of the gang. I was different. I had secrets I had to keep. There were things going on at my home that did not happen in their homes! If they really knew me, they would run away!

That's what I like about Al-Anon, it is a fellowship of equals where no one is in authority over anyone else and everything is decided by the group as a whole. Just by showing up and participating I am just as much a part of the group as the oldest long-timer.

The feeling of belonging I found inside the rooms, slowly one day at a time, spilled over into other areas of my life. For example, now instead of thinking like, "I hope I'm not in someone else's favorite parking spot..." I now think, "Hey, somebody got my parking place!"


Back to the Newcomers Meeting

Some of the information on this website is copyrighted by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway, Virginia Beach, Va. 23454. The use of such Conference Approved Literature here does not constitute endorsement of this website by AFG, WSO, or any other entities. If you have any questions or comments about this website or would like to report any inoperative links or pages, please contact us.