An Online Al-Anon Family Group

Key to

Key Home Page
How to Join
Members Info
New to Al-Anon?
Contact Us

Is the Key To

      -- Concept Four

Committees in My Head

I was a very confused individual when I entered these rooms. I had been relying on my own judgement and reason for far too long. It really is the only time in my life that I recognised that I couldn't do it alone anymore.

I had felt numb for quite some time before and had this panicky feeling inside that I was going mad. I had spent a lot of time trying to work out how I could possibly change my husband and situation and then I'd run out of steam. I guess by the time I fell in the door that I was well and truly at my rock bottom and was willing to try anything.

I came to realise, by listening to others, that there were no "shoulds or musts" in Al-Anon. That I was free to go to as many meetings as I liked, that I could take from the meetings what I liked and nobody was going to "beat me around the head" if I didn't follow every suggestion.

Didn't Put Me Down

It was also pointed out to me that I could do it in my own time, at my own pace. I have mentioned before that I wasn't keen on God when I came in, but I came to realise that I didn't have to - I was very much free to follow my own beliefs/non beliefs.

This was a new experience for me. Somewhere to go where nothing was expected of me. Members greeted me just as I was, gave me encouragement, didn't put me down if I felt I'd fallen short of being the "perfect human being".

They shared what had worked for them and it was up to me whether I used their suggestion or not. Gradually I started feeling better about myself, my life started to become more manageable in little ways.

Never Alone Again

Although I needed to put this programme into practise myself in my own life, I was never alone again - I always had this wonderful membership of Al-Anon to fall back on - it was like having the family I'd always dreamed of having.

If I had to face something where I needed extra courage (which happened a lot in the first few years) I'd mentally take my home group along with me. I'd imagine all of them and the looks of encouragment on their faces.

I remembered their own acts of courage, and it gave me strength to face my own hurdles. So even when I had to do something physically alone, I didn't often feel alone anymore (unless I chose to). I mentally took them all with me.

Guiding My Journey

I do the same thing now. I mentally take you all with me when I have to do something scary. I reckon with hundreds of you with me I can't go wrong.

Gradually as the years went on and I started practising the eleventh step, I became aware of someone/something else beside me all the time, guiding my journey. It's still amazing to me that I came into this programme to find the answer to getting my husband sober, and found so much more.

To me Step 2 is all about my being willing to let go, gradually one day at a time, that I don't have all the answers. That I can't live life as an island, that I need others input in my life.

When I'm not feeling strong others are there to help me and maybe at other times I can do the same for them. If I try to do it alone, then I get into problems - those committees in my head come back, I get confused and the insanity returns.

Rosemary in OZ

Back to the Newcomers Meeting

Some of the information on this website is copyrighted by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway, Virginia Beach, Va. 23454. The use of such Conference Approved Literature here does not constitute endorsement of this website by AFG, WSO, or any other entities. If you have any questions or comments about this website or would like to report any inoperative links or pages, please contact us.